How To Fail At Social Media!

By: Daniel Imbellino
May 25, 2016

Here it is, the official epic fail seal of disapproval, and it's for all those content creatorsThe official Epic Fail seal of disapproval! on social media who fail to find real purpose in their efforts, who dump their posts wildly across networks, and ignore the world, yet they wonder why no one is listening, and no one is paying attention to their cause. It's the same people who couldn't get a +1 in a whore house with a hundred bucks, much less on Google Plus. It's the same people who couldn't get a drunken bum pushing a shopping cart to follow them on the street much less an influencer to follow them across social networks. It's the people who're often too ignorant to realize what they're doing wrong with their social efforts, so I thought I'd point out the facts for them. Here's why 99% of content creators fail miserably at social media!

Dumping Posts:

Yeah, that's it, dump your latest post to 50 communities on Google+ and run back to watching the latest episode of American Idol. While you may be laughing at the moron making a fool of themselves on the screen, the real fool just got all their posts flagged as spam by Google! Oh, and all those posts you just spewed all over the network, yeah, they're sitting in spam folders where no one's ever going to see them, while the clock ticks down waiting for moderators to find them, and ban and report you! While you're at it, make sure to dump your posts in totally irrelevant communities and Facebook groups. This sends a great signal to search engines on just how much you value your social presence.

A better place to take a dump is in the toilet, not on social media, epic fail! Don't forget to wipe.

Ignoring Everyone and Wondering Why You Can't Gain Traction:

It's called social media for a reason, because it's a place where people, wait for it, wait for it, "Socialize." If you aren't paying attention to others, then what makes you think they're paying attention to you? In case no one's realized it, engagement is the new SEO, and if you aren't talking, then how do you expect to gain attention, and ultimately have an influence so that you can actually rank? To make matters worse, the one time these disengaged users do manage to get a comment on their posts, they take a week to respond, followed by an often stupid and irrelevant statement that just annoys the user enough to simply ignore them later on.

In all honesty, and I know this from personal experience, your efforts to engage with others will have a much more profound effect on gaining visibility than simply making posts and throwing them everywhere. The people who're familiar with you are the ones who're most likely to engage with your content, and they're the ones who're most likely to share your ideas with others.

Arguing With Moderators:

While we've all met ignorant people in our lives, I have to admit, there's some people I've met on Google Plus who truly take the cake. Often posts get flagged in my Google+ communities, and when the moderators try and coach the person in question as to why they shouldn't spam their posts everywhere, and further point out what they're doing wrong, many will respond with an excuse, "But it's ok because I have a purpose." Here, we just explained to them what the consequences are, yet they fail to listen to a word we say, and Google continues to flag every post they make, and our moderators continue to delete their posts day after day, yet they still don't get it. I'm pretty sure we could write it on the foreheads, push them in front of a mirror, and nothing would click.

In fact, some people are so ignorant, that even after being told they're losing all of their visibility across the entire network, they continue to spam communities for weeks on end anyway. Yet, they wonder why their posts aren't getting any engagement at all, and are even more perplexed as to why their accounts are now suspended. Duh!

They should really just respond to moderators with the statement, "Sorry, I can't hear you because I'm a complete idiot and I refuse to listen."

Having No Real Purpose:

Isn't it ironic how clicking on every other link on social media takes you to another post offering 40% social media marketing and SEO services, yet the post you came from shows no signs of engagement at all? Not a single +1, a Like, comment, nothing! But, yet I'm supposed to want you buy your promotional services despite the fact you've completely failed to promote yourself?

If your whole purpose on social media is simply to make money, then you have no purpose, and you should seriously quit wasting perfectly good space. In case no one realized it, people don't go on social media to scout the latest 20% off sale, and read boring articles that were written for no purpose other than to make a sale.

Failure To Back up Your Facts:

Please, just stop with the never ending series of posts that go and on about how you got 25,000 people to sign up for your email newsletter, how you have a million visitors a year to your blog, and how you increased your traffic levels by 2,000% in just 90 days! Too bad these same authors with their fictitious stories failed to realize that facts are usually backed by evidence and solid explanations, not hearsay stories that were read on some no name blog that no one's ever heard of before. The one thing these stories all share in common is the fact they fail to ever explain how the author actually did what they claim to have done.

While I and the rest of the world are all for hearing of your great successes, if you really want us to believe your story, then explain to us how you did it, not just so we'll believe it, but so as to offer some sort of value to those who read your content. Besides, what's the point of writing something that only serves to glorify and benefit yourself?

Writing About Millennials:

For real, stop writing blog posts about us, and what you think we like, it's annoying, and it merely bores us to tears. I swear, if I see one more blog post about "Are you targeting Millennials?" crap from some 50 year old at a marketing firm I'm gonna puke. As much as you'd like to think your Google analytics data is the crystal ball with the know all of the Millennial world, sorry to tell you but you've got it all wrong. No, for real, find something better to do, like making a run to the store for some denture cream, listening to boring Opera music, or watching M.A.S.H reruns, or whatever it is you do.

All being said, I just wanted to point out some of the many epic fails I see taking place on social media, and maybe have a little fun while I'm at it. This is Daniel and I approve this message, now back to my XBOX.

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